I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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