Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
