Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
