i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
