I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
