I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
