i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she peed on how many people?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
