I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
