that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize