careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize