mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
