You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
