haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
