But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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