my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize