obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
