I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
