whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
