i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
