wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
