her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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