Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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