Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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