I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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