the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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