I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
