I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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