Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize