I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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