Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
