i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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