i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
