i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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