handjob tips. give me some.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
