operation have a gay friend backfired
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize