Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
