You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize