He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
