god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
