people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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