She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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