I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
