she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
