Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
