No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
