So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize