i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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