Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
