Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
