I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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