I hate all girls vehemently.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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