I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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