it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i would punch a child for taco bell
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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