Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
