We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
