So drunk its hurt
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
