After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
