She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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