Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
