We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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