that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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