She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
