...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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